Dianna Dynamic - Memoirs of a Cyborg

A comedy with drama about technology’s striving for perfection and how humanity just won't die.

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A female cyborg, who had it all and wanted more. More machine, less human. Discovering her use by date sent her new self south.

Image Credit: Stuart Sullivan

  • Created and Performed by: Bernadette Cranage

  • Directed by: Lisa Laine and Lisa McCune

  • Dramaturg: Keziah Warner

Meet Dianna Dynamic, The Machine’s most valued staff member, awarded the most awards. She has the highest number of recruits enrolled in The Machine’s cyborg program. Totally Dynamic and has been ever since she became a cyborg herself. No more creaky knees, no faulty hips. What's more, she has the superfund only some can dream of. Her humanity is fast losing its foothold on her life.
She opens businesses, she closes them. In her new job she has more friends than she’s ever had, free entry to several gyms and a subscription to unlimited podcasts, amongst other things. When she discovers her use by date, her perfection goes south. If you’ve ever struggled with your own slip ups in the quest for perfection, or, wanted to abuse the supermarket checkout machines on a bad day, you will relate to Dianna’s fall from the tower. In this 45 minute show, you will see where the fall took Dianna, what happened on the way down and what happens when she gets back up.

About Bernadette Cranage

Bernadette is a professional actress. In late 2022, Bernadette decided to take a sabbatical from auditions, endeavouring to beat her own path to an acting and writing career and to pour everything she has into performing her show ‘Dianna Dynamic – Memoirs of a Cyborg’ for the 2023 Melbourne Fringe Festival. Bernadette has undertaken many acting courses over a 22 year period. For the last 2 terms of 2021, Bernadette studied at Brave Studios under Damien Walshe-Howling in the Advanced Actor Scene Study Course. In April 2021, Bernadette presented her one woman show ‘Sharon Stacy Statue’ in Ballarat. A show which she wrote and performed at the 2019 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Following her performance at the festival, Bernadette studied under master teacher, Kristin Linklater (dec). Bernadette began acting in 2006, represented by her then agent, Janine Jordan Cowie – JJCM. In 2009, Janine produced Bernadette’s first one woman show, ‘Lois..and her Mother’s Secret Life.’ After 2009, Bernadette wrote and taught acting, produced and directed plays for community groups in regional Tasmania and suburban Sydney. Her particular specialty was to work with people who never acted before, teaching acting and writing plays tailored to them. Since returning to Victoria in 2015, Bernadette’s main focus has and will continue to be her acting, along with her writing. Bernadette is a 62 year old actress. When she was a 16 year old student at Loreto College, Bernadette was asked to deliver papers to students rehearsing for Macbeth. As she watched in the wings, a spark lit. She thought, ’I would love to do that’. As quickly as it was lit, she thought; ‘I could never do that.’ Bernadette didn’t start acting until 40. 22 years later, she loves acting as much as when she started at 40 years.

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